Truth

What do they call it when you put your glasses together for a toast and they make that tinkling sound? Is it “clink”? Whatever the word for it, that’s what Jake and Curtis were doing right now.

“Congratulations, man,” said Jake LeCarré. “It’s a hell of a publication.”

It actually wasn’t all that great a publication that had just hired his friend Antoine Lamarr Curtis–if anything, it was a rag, a fluff vanity called Zealot Magazine run by a tycoon who’d come out of nowhere determined, it seemed, to make himself heard and make money in the process. But it was money, an actual job in journalism, or something like it, which was more than Jake could boast.

“Thanks, man,” said Curtis, “That means a lot coming from you.”

“Hey, hey, settle down now.” The fact that he still hadn’t managed to land a steady job was somewhat of a sore spot for Jake. Not that he wasn’t good—he never questioned that. He’d even had offers—plenty of them—but he turned them all down on principle. Jake’s research skills were exceptional and he loved putting them to work at finding connections between the bigwigs in charge of the newspapers and the bigger whigs in charge of everything else. And it turned out, pretty much everyone was in somebody’s pocket. Everybody but Jake’s white whale: the Sunday Monitor.

“No, I know it’s a gig,” Curtis added, perhaps by way of apology for the subtle dig. “I know it’s not gonna do much other than line my pockets and clutter my portfolio with fluff.”

“Hey, man, if you’re comfortable with that…”

Comfort didn’t have anything to do with it, and Jake damn well knew it. They’d had this conversation before, about how privileged it was to act solely out of “principle”, to be able to afford to.

“That’s why I do it, though,” Jake always insisted when it came up. “I’m not telling you it’s what you should do, but considering I’m in a position to, I figure that’s what’s right. You know?”

Still, it was a point of contention between them.

“Hey, babe,” said Nancy when Jake got home. “How was it?”

“Great,” he said, in a tone that said “We didn’t fight or anything!”

“Good,” she said. “You two should hang out more often. You have so much in common.” She wasn’t saying this (just) to be patronizing. They actually did have quite a bit in common, even beyond journalism. Similar levels of intelligence, similar tastes in music and art. And women.

“Sure,” Jake agreed. “When we have time.”

A lot happened between then and the next time both of them “had time.” Jake had been freelancing and he continued to do so, selling his investigative think-pieces to anyone who would give money for them. He refused to start a blog. He claimed it was because he didn’t trust them and no one should, because there wasn’t any vetting process going into it, but Nancy secretly understood it was because he hated the ass-kissing that goes into marketing almost as much as he hated the idea of being a corporate shill.

Curtis, meanwhile, got some positive attention at Zealot, hooked up and broke up with a number of girls who never quite seemed to make the right noises, until he found one who did. He moved out of estate, traveled out of country, came home.

The biggest shifts, though, were for Nancy.

Nancy Pribess was an artist. Photographer, mostly. She’d had some shows, sold some pieces, balked at more modern technologies. She didn’t have the same relationship with words that Jake did, or Curtis. Maybe it was because words are too easy to lie with.

But then her sister died. Wendy Pribess, known to her colleagues as the “Spyder”, was a special agent in the FBI. She’d tracked a serial killer who called himself Kaman Set on a rampage across seven non-contiguous states to his hometown of Trinity’s Field, NC, and there, in accordance with horror-movie logic, she got caught up in the action and killed in the crossfire.

Nancy started to show the signs of grief pretty immediately, but she must have gotten caught up somewhere in the middle. “Something doesn’t add up,” she insisted every time she went over the police reports, the witness accounts.

“It does,” Jake assured her, and he tried to explain, but—

“No,” she would say. “No, no, it just doesn’t feel right!”

She started looking into it, the whole case. She had, at last, become somewhat a journalist in her own way. Just maybe not the right way. “I’m telling you,” she’d say, “there’s something more going on here!”

“And I’m telling you,” he’d retort, “even if there is, you can’t go anywhere without evidence!”

Still, she persisted. They broke up, but not until after she’d gone down to Trinity’s Field herself, moved there to be closer to the investigation. What she found there frightened her, but that only made her more desperate to discover (and reveal) the truth.

Jake, meanwhile, stopped thinking her obsession was cute even long before she started her blog on how supernatural events had shaped the small town’s history. But he couldn’t help but visit her when he found himself out on a story he thought for sure was unrelated.

“Does he work for Alchemyne?” she asked him, concerning the man he was coming to interview.

“I guess most of the people here in town do,” he said, not wanting to give anything away if he could help it.

“All the sketchy people do,” she said. “And a few who aren’t, but they eventually figure out what’s going on and then a lot of them disappear.”

Well, that sounded like bullshit.

Until he actually talked to the guy who’d called him, heard what he had to say (still thinking it was bullshit) and then what happened happened and the guy and his family were never heard from again.

“Sure lends credence, doesn’t it?” said Nancy.

“It doesn’t prove anything!”

“But it should still be reported!”

“People go missing every day!”

“Whole families? And all in the same situation?”

Then she called Curtis. Zealot, as it turned out, had it in for Alchemyne, had been looking for something like this for months, and now Nancy had brought it to them. Curtis launched an investigative report on Alchemyne Industries, their chemical manufacturing practices, their Human Resources Controversies and opposition to Affirmative Action or even color-blind hiring practices, strange unexplained disappearances and deaths in their offices all over the world, as it turned out.

The public ate it up. Everyone loves to attack Big Business, and Jake LeCarré rolled his eyes. There just wasn’t enough evidence. All these people screaming to prosecute, didn’t they understand the proceedings would be subject to due process? There just wasn’t enough evidence to bring it to trial, let alone convict. “You’d only be hurting your own case.”

But Curtis still got rich writing article after article for Zealot. “Hey, man, it sells. People want to hear it. And it’s not like we’re lying.”

“You’re just drawing conclusions from incomplete information.”

“And we’re admitting to that: look—“

“They are still reading it as fact, Curtis.”

“But what if it is true?” Nancy pointed out. “Look, if it’s not true, we will have taken down one horrible, horrible company that acted within the law to do horrible things—“

“And you will have lost thousands of people their jobs—“

“But if it is true… can you imagine? Jake, we could be saving the world.”

Jake shook his head. “I’m not buying it.”

“Is that because the evidence isn’t overwhelming enough, or because you support the free market?”

“I’m not saying that they’re not evil, I’m not saying they wouldn’t deserve it, but dammit, Nancy, there is a process!”

That’s when Nancy stopped talking to him.

“Can you blame her?” said Curtis.

“She’s not a journalist,” Jake insisted.

“Neither am I, by your standards,” Curtis pointed out. “And you? You’re freelance!”

“There’s something wrong with this country.”

“I won’t disagree,” said Curtis, “but that doesn’t mean there’s not something wrong with you, too.”

“I just want to tell the truth.”

“So does she.”

“But I want it to matter!”

Curtis took a deep breath. “What matters, Jake, might not be for you to decide.”


“Why Can’t I Be You?”

Tom Murphy and his brother Declan never really did get along.

There was a three year age difference—too much to be close friends, but not enough for Tommy to feel overly protective, always having this little kid in his hair. That was the theory, at least. Really, it was just a personality clash.

Secretly, though, each of them really wanted to be like his brother.

Tommy was cool. When he was younger, that meant he impressed all the other boys, which meant he always had a lot of friends. Having friends meant he got to practice all the social games that make men good at all the things folks like to tell us men should be good at. It made him confident, it made him witty—not in a nineteenth-Century way, but quick, good with a comeback. Good at belittling opponents and friends and even prospective girlfriends.

Declan wasn’t cool—at least, he didn’t think of himself that way. Instead, he was smart—that was his main identifier. He was a thinker. And on top of being a thinker, he had a kindness to him that made him hold back even when he knew exactly which words to use to bring his brother to heel. He wouldn’t say them.

Usually.

But Tommy noticed. He always noticed when his brother said something to him that he didn’t think was true but then later it turned out it was. He’d mock him for being wrong and because he was the older brother, a lot of the time, Declan would believe him, and doubt himself.

When he was younger, at least. Back when he still wanted to believe his brother, to impress him. Back when he thought they could still be friends. But much as Declan distrusted his brother, much as he looked down on him for not being critical enough, he couldn’t help but admire him still—secretly, of course. Tacitly. To admire the way he still managed to bend men and women alike to his will.

(To Be Continued…)


The Magic If

They told her it wouldn’t be possible.

They told her it couldn’t be done, that it was a fantasy. She would fail, they said, and she would be humiliated.

She didn’t fail.

It wasn’t clear to anyone how she did it. If truth be told, even she wasn’t sure exactly how it had happened, because again, it shouldn’t have been possible. Even she knew that. But she had tried anyway. Possibly because everyone had told her it couldn’t be done. She felt safe in the knowledge of the impossibility of success.

But even though she couldn’t tell “how it had happened,” she had a pretty good idea of how it (could have) happened. She had seen a possibility, under certain preconditions, if specific things had happened in a specific order beforehand, if specific people had specific tastes or if specific people with specific tastes had been in certain roles or positions, she had figured, in the most precise of ways, that there was some possibility.

It had been slim, but she had imagined it.

So she couldn’t help but think there might have been something more to it than imagination.

She started to think about other things that people thought were impossible, things that weren’t satisfying, things that were needed but couldn’t be had, or got. She started thinking about all of the ways thing scould be different, and what would be necessary to bring them about. She thought about the biggest problems the way an architect might think about a building, from the ground up. She mined the answers to every single why not and for every facet of every answer, she asked back how?

And then she found answers. And then she changed the world.


The Race of Myths

Joseph Campbell identifies three characteristics of Myth that typify the effect they have on human beings and define their purpose.

The first is that they keep us from dying by reassuring us that all life comes from death and we must therefore feed on it to survive.

The second is that we must procreate, so that the species and, specifically, the tribe, can survive beyond us.

The third is to codify how we as a society should interact with other societies and their respective Myths.

The first two are obviously ways for the Myth itself to keep being told: both the individual and the society must persist in order to perpetuate the Myth in question. But the third is rather a reflection of the second on the Myth itself: the interaction of different societies is the main way Myths have to procreate.

Myths are alive, by the way, in case you hadn’t noticed.

But the weird thing about this interaction is that it doesn’t specify how the Myths will interact with each other. Quality #1, above, is basically “Kill or be killed”, quality #2 is essentially “Make up and make love,” but quality #3 could go any which way. How do Myths interact with each other?

Sometimes they’re polite and unobtrusive, sometimes they’re social and amenable, but sometimes we find there are Myths who are cruel and sollipsistic, Myths who insist that they—and only they—are Truth. They preserve their immortality by refusing to procreate, as though, like Zeus, they remember how they killed their own father and refuse to have the same done to them.


Do You Think He Knows?

SIEGFRIED: So… do you think he knows?

DWIGHT: Do I think who knows what?

SIEGFRIED: Kenny.

DWIGHT: More, please.

SIEGFRIED: Well, I mean… he’s gay, right?

DWIGHT: Is he?

SIEGFRIED: Are you serious? I mean, you’ve seen him, right? This is Kenny we’re talking about.

DWIGHT: Has he talked to you about this?

SIEGFRIED: Well, everyone’s talked about it.

DWIGHT: Has he, though?

SIEGFRIED: Look, he’s gonna deny it, OK?

DWIGHT: Because it would make him unpopular?

SIEGFRIED: Uh, yeah. This is the South.

DWIGHT: So.. what if he actually isn’t?

SIEGFRIED: What do you mean? If he’s not gay?

DWIGHT: If he’s not gay, should he say that he is?

SIEGFRIED: Why would he do that?

DWIGHT: Well, you seem to think if he is gay, he’ll say he isn’t, but what if he really isn’t? How would we know? How could we be sure?

SIEGFRIED: He is, though.

DWIGHT: How do you know? When they say that being gay is not a choice, that doesn’t mean that we all get together as a group to decide who’s gay and who isn’t.

SIEGFRIED: No, but I mean…

DWIGHT: What does it matter to you, anyway?

SIEGFRIED: It doesn’t.

DWIGHT: …

SIEGFRIED: I’m just saying, you know…

DWIGHT: And if he is gay, how would he “not know”?

SIEGFRIED: Well, you know, he could still be struggling. With himself. Trying to… decide?

DWIGHT: But you’ve already made the decision for him, so… Let me ask you this, what if he “decides” the other way? Is that something he can do?

SIEGFRIED: But why would he?

DWIGHT: You said yourself how unpopular he’d be if he “decided” to be gay.

SIEGFRIED: But he is gay!

DWIGHT: That’s not for you to decide! Look, there’s every chance in the world that you are right about Kenny, but whether or not he is, it’s not really any of our business, is it? Now if he is, and he tells us, that’s fine, but I, for one, am straight, so his orientation really doesn’t matter to me one way or the other.

SIEGFRIED: I’m just… concerned. ‘Cause, I mean… shouldn’t he know?

DWIGHT: I’m sure he does. And I hope one day he’ll consider us good enough friends to tell us. But until then, well…

SIEGFRIED: It’s none of our business. OK.


Robin Hood, Sheriff of Nottingham

It was over. The battle was won and Robin Hood had emerged the victor. After eight long years of fighting the corruption in his country, the oppression and abuse of his people, Robin Hood had knocked the Sheriff of Nottingham off his high horse, defeated Guy of Gisborne and even, yes, shaken the absolute hold Prince John had on his monarchy. By the time King Richard Lion Heart returned from his crusade, there was peace and a sense of justice. As a token of his gratitude for all that Robin had done, King Richard had Robin of Locksley, called “Hood”, named Sheriff of Nottingham.

The irony was not lost on the general public.

There was a problem, though. While their enemies had been thwarted in their immediate ambitions, problems still existed. There was still scarcity in the country; resources still flowed to the cities where most people lived while the people of Sherwood Forest wondered why their children still starved.

Robin Hood had proved to be a very effective leader at uniting the people against a common enemy, but now that he was in a position of power, he found that there was much more to governing than disposing of one’s enemies. Mouths needed to be fed, which meant that pockets needed to be lined, which means that coffers needed to be filled, and that was why the people had been taxed so hard.

“By why can’t we just put those taxes on the rich?” Robin Hood finally demanded of King Richard. “They have the money and the resources! They won’t starve if they help other people not starve.”

His exclamation was met with an icy stare. “They may have the money, but more importantly, they control the armies. They each have their own men. If I raid their personal treasuries, what do you think they’ll do to me? They will rally behind my brother and they will overthrow me.”

This was not an answer that Robin Hood could bring to his merry men. So when they asked him what the King had said, he answered that there were laws in place and that even the King was not above them.

But they had heard of laws before and knew how fragile they could be. He could not convince them that there was not enough food for them when they were the ones who were growing it. He could not convince them that they could not prevail when they had already come so far.

So he asked himself “What am I fighting for?” and realized the only person he was fighting was himself and he was fighting because he had become the system.

Robin Hood took off his badge and picked up his bow again.

“What are you doing?” demanded King Richard. “After all I have done for you, all the power I have given you, this is how you treat me?”

“I have seen what your power can do,” said Robin of Locksley. “It no longer impresses me. If you cannot provide the people with what they need, what good are you? What kind of King?”


“Peace Sells”

“What do you mean you’ve never heard of the Elk?”

That was the exclamation most freshmen were subject to on their first day at Trinity High School.

They were referring to Kyle’s band. I say Kyle’s band because they kept going back and forth on the name. Kyle wanted to call it “Elk Chords,” for reasons so esoteric he couldn’t even remember them himself five years later. Tommy, though, insisted that “Elk Strings” sounded better; it made more sense and it didn’t confuse people into thinking they were some lady-punk band called “Elle Chords”.

They were the only band at school—in fact, to the people at school it almost seemed sometimes like they were the only game in town. But I don’t care how little competition there is: if a band sucked, it would not have been as successful as the Elk.

Kyle was the genius. I’ve said, he brought us all together.

He laid out the foundation that we built on. He had the idea, he wrote the songs. His voice wasn’t great, but it didn’t have to be, ‘cause he was powerful. Charismatic.

I guess you could say Tommy was the marketing guy. He was down-to-Earth. He cared about what people thought of him, not for the sake of ego, but because he knew that’s the only way to make it in this world.

And then there was Mickey. Ah, Mickey. Why’d it have to be this way? Mickey was on drums not ‘cause he was good at it, but because he liked to hit things. He was more of a glorified fan-boy than anything else, even then, but he kept the beat and they never gave him anything too trying.

My sister was in love with them. That’s what she said, at least. Really, it was Kyle she was in love with. Aly always was a sucker for the silent, brooding type, even if he was an intellectual.

“I don’t like ‘em,” Declan declared when Jasper brought them up.

“What do you mean, you don’t like ‘em? You can’t not like ‘em, they’re Elk Chords.”

“They’re Elk Strings,” said Tommy’s little brother,” and they’re over-rated.”

“Look, I’m not saying they’re Acid Monsoon or anything, but I mean, come on.”

“Are you so hung up on the prospect of live music that you’d listen to meaningless shit like that?”

Now, Jasper really was offended. “It’s not meaningless…”

Declan rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Forget it.”

The truth was, Declan had never really listened to his brother’s band.

He hadn’t been allowed to go to any of their shows (“You’re too young to be out that late, sweetie.”)And when he asked to come to practice, Tommy just looked at him and walked away.

It gave Declan a very ill opinion of his brother and anything associated with him. Once he actually heard the Elk, he enjoyed them, mostly for Kyle’s message, but that was a long way off.

(To Be Continued…)


The Contemplation of Passion

ERICA: You’re kidding, right.

MARTIN: No. No, sadly, I’m not.

ERICA: But you’re like, hot. How could you not–

MARTIN: I don’t know. Just hasn’t happened yet.

ERICA: Are you gay? Well, are you?

MARTIN: I have a girlfriend. She’s still in high school.

ERICA: Well, you are a freshman… so I guess…

MARTIN: A Catholic high school. For girls.

ERICA: And you’re still not getting laid? Sorry, must be thinking of a different kind of Catholic schoolgirl.

MARTIN: I mean, we talked about it. The sex thing. We even… well… we kind of sexted a little bit one time.

ERICA: Oh, you bad, bad boy. Did you go to confession afterwards?

MARTIN: Hey, she’s the one who’s Catholic! Actually, not even her, it’s her parents who are Catholic.

ERICA: If she’s not Catholic, why hasn’t she fucked you for real?

MARTIN: Well… I mean, she is still in high school. And she’s only seventeen.

ERICA: So? North Carolina’s sex-age is sixteen, as long as you’re not more than four years older.

MARTIN: It’s three, actually.

ERICA: Three?

MARTIN: My mom’s a paralegal.

ERICA: Oh. Well, moving on. Look, the point is… it’s three years, really?

MARTIN: Yeah.

ERICA: Huh. But that still doesn’t explain why you haven’t fucked her! Huh?

MARTIN: I lied.

ERICA: So you’re not a virgin?

MARTIN: Oh, no, I’m… I mean I never had sex.

ERICA: So what’d you lie about? Is she not really your girlfriend?

MARTIN: Well… she was…

ERICA: Aw. Poor thing.

MARTIN: Now she’s kind of a lesbian.

ERICA: And she’s at a Catholic girls’ school?

MARTIN: Yeah.

ERICA: It’ll pass. So that means you don’t have a girlfriend who’s a Catholic school lesbian?

MARTIN: No.

ERICA: Then why the fuck are you still a virgin?

MARTIN: Ow.

ERICA: You are gay, aren’t you? Hot, nice 18-year-old virgin? You’re totally gay.

MARTIN: Why the hell does everyone keep thinking that?

ERICA: Come on, honey. How many Musicals have you been in?

MARTIN: I do them so that I can meet girls!

ERICA: And how’s that working out for you?

MARTIN: They keep casting me as the bad guy…

ERICA: And you still can’t get laid?

MARTIN: I just haven’t found the right girl yet.

ERICA: OK, now I know you’re gay.

MARTIN: It’s gay for a guy to want to find a girl and settle down in a nice heterosexual relationship?

ERICA: Yeah! Especially an 18-year-old virgin! At 18, you’re supposed to play the field, sow your seeds, boy. If you happen to find a girl willing to put out more than once for you, you might have a relationship, but that’s not “love”. If you’re looking for a girl to take you off the menu, you’re not looking for a girlfriend, you’re looking for a beard.

MARTIN: Wow. That is the saddest thing I have ever heard anyone say. You’ve never had a real boyfriend, have you?

ERICA: I’ve had lots of boyfriends–

MARTIN: Have you? Or have you had guys who took advantage of you?

ERICA: Isn’t that kind of the definition of a boyfriend?

MARTIN: No. It’s not.

ERICA: It’s okay. It’s not like they’re doing it against my will. I want them to take advantage of me. The real question now is, do you want to take advantage of me?

MARTIN: You know, if it’s not against your will, it’s not really the same as taking advantage of you.

ERICA: Then don’t think of it as not being against my will.

MARTIN: I think there are too many negatives going around here–

ERICA: Well, then why don’t you think positive?

MARTIN: …

ERICA: Wow. No wonder you’re still a virgin, I am–could I be any more throwing myself at you?

MARTIN: It’s just, I don’t know, are you doing this because you’re trying to prove a point?

ERICA: Or maybe I’m trying to get to the point… Do you want me? Huh? Don’t you want me? Oh. Oh, there we go. Maybe you’re not gay after all.

MARTIN: Maybe not.


Hamlet in the Undiscovered Country

I closed mine eyes and thought the rest was silence.
Yet here I stir and ope them—now awake,
A brave new world awaits me. Yet which is it?
The scent of sea-life richly fills the air
As waves crash o’er my feet—is this my fate?

Where am I? What dreams have found me
Now I lie in wait? It seems so real. It seems—
But semblance is unseemly. I must know
If this be heav’n or hell or yet some other
Place—will I find my father? Are these the slower
Fires that burn our sins away? Yet oh—
Could I not live inside these waves that lap my feet…

Where is my mother? Did she not come before?
She did not know mine uncle’s plans, so, guiltless,
Might have risen up while I embrace
This gentle burn a little while. Yet where’s my uncle?
Where is that King who slew his brother so?
The man I should have dueled. Is he around?
I glance about me, up the beach, but no—
I am alone in death as are we all,
Though I took so many with me. Him
And her and the nun who loved me and her father,
Her brother who slew me, and my friends from school—

This can’t be Purgatory. Though it smells so sweet,
I am in Hell. Heaven and Earth must I remember.
Then must my uncle be here, too. But where?
And why? He’s where I put him for my father,
As I swore—must I still meet him in our just rewards?
I stand and scan my destiny.
Rough winds do blow in from this briny Styx
Are these the winds of Hell? Where is the Devil?
Where is my tormentor, come to gloat?
What are these trees with leaves so wide, so green
And get so foreign to our Danish shores?
If this be Hell, why shines the sun so bright?
Where am I?

But soft! I hear a hustle and a bustle
‘Round the corner by the trees.
Is’t a man? That cannot be, oh, no—
Some shade that once was man, perhaps, but now?
Nay, there’s a figure—form’d of mist, I’ld say.
A woman, and one of such design to set
The heav’ns aflame if clouds could burn as men’s hearts do.
Yet why so dim? Were you not made of that
Same flesh as I? Are we not alike,
Whatever the likeness we may bear?
But stay! I’d speak with thee anon!
I’d have news of thee, whether I am right
To doubt the blessing of my fate, the beauty
That surrounds me in your fair country. Stay—
But the airy spirit has no replies for me.

Am I? Do I yet breathe? Does this, my flesh,
Too solid still, yet bear the weight of life?
Or has time come for me with slings and arrows
To make me naught? Am I a spirit, too?
What dreams have come? What visions now assail
My desp’rate mind to make it fester?

I must inland from the sea. The waves
Give me no answer. Go, then, spirit, hie thee,
Be thou rank or bonny, hie—I’ll follow thee
To th’ end of this brave new world and see
What Man or Nature has in mind for me.


The Sulphur Selkie

Shade was seven years old when she heard the story of the Irish selkies. “They are taken from the sea and become wives and mothers to Irishmen,” said the traveling social worker in a special storytelling benefit for children. “But if someone finds her coat that she had in the sea, she’ll leave her husband and children and go back!”

The social worker was a man, which might have been why he seemed mortified that a woman would leave her husband and children, but didn’t have any problem with the idea that a man could just steal a woman out of her home and force her to get married and have children.

“Doesn’t she deserve a life?” said a still, small voice inside Shade. “Doesn’t she deserve a choice?”

But she pushed the voice aside. It was the same voice that often told her not to listen to the holy men, the same voice that told her to speak up for herself when she knew she was being wronged, even if it meant talking back to adult men. It was a voice that often got her in trouble.

“Don’t you listen to that voice inside you!” her mother often scolded, brandishing the Book in her hand. “For I swear to you, it is the devil!”

She didn’t like having the devil inside her head and she so tried not to listen. But sometimes that devil was the only one that made sense.

When she was fourteen, her village was raided and Shade was one of twenty-seven girls who were kidnapped and brought North to the City to be sold.

Shade prayed for help, but when the voice inside her offered to give her the power she needed, she shrank away from it. “No matter what the voice inside offers you,” her mother had always said, “no matter what will happen to you, do not trust it, for its power is Corruption!” So she let the men take her body, rather than giving up her Soul.

At the auction where they were sold, some of the girls seemed to know things about some of the men, which ones were particularly cruel, which ones sold drugs, which ones liked hitting. There was one man there every girl agreed, once she’d heard about him, that she would choose to be sold to, if she had the choice and not they.

(But why would you want to be sold at all? asked the Voice)

That man, the respectable one with the kind face, the one who did not beat his women, the one who campaigned for positive change, that man was the one who won the bid for Shade.

He took her home and he was kind, told the staff at his mansion to treat her as a lady, and they all spoke well of him, because of how well they were treated. And that night, when he came to her, he was gentler than she had ever been led to believe a man could be when he came to a woman.

He never beat her. Sometimes he would raise his voice in anger and she wouldn’t know why and that still-small voice would tell her “It’s not fair, you should tell him!” but she would slap it away, she would remind herself of all the terrible men who had been at that auction who she might have been sold to, and the bruises, she kept seeing on the wives of her husband’s business associates, which they didn’t even try to hide. And she would remind herself how lucky she was to have been sold to a good husband.

She gave him two children, a boy and a girl. They tried to have more, but apparently, her body failed him. (And could it not be his seed, said the Voice, failing you?) She watched her son and daughter grow up, thankful first that they had such a loving father, but also that her son was so handsome and strong and most especially relieved when her daughter did not speak about a still, small Voice inside her telling her that all she knew was wrong. She did not think she would be capable of beating her own child as she had been beaten. She did not think she could bear for her daughter to be Possessed, as she was.

But once her daughter started to come of age, thoughts started to occur to Shade. Whom would her daughter want to marry? To which of her husband’s friends (or which of their sons) would she be given? Her husband was a kind and gentle man, but he didn’t seem to know any other kind and gentle men. Only villains. She thought I should find a man for her who is as honorable as her brother, but then she thought Whom will he marry? And then she thought how.

That was when the Voice returned in full force. It should not be your husband’s decision whom your daughter marries! was one of the more ridiculous claims, but underneath it was It is up to you to protect your daughter because none of these men will! And when she tried to counter about her son and about her husband, about how they were good men, the Voice inside her took no prisoners but declared That man paid money to your kidnappers so that he could own you as property. 

There it was. The Truth she could no longer escape. Her husband was not a good man. He may be better than any man she had met since she was taken from her village, but that was not the same as goodness. And under his parentage, the Voice inside her twisted the knife, what man will your son become? 

It was all too much.

What can I do? she asked the Voice. How can I help my daughter? How can I save my son? 

I can help you, said the Voice. But there is a price. 

She had always known there would be, yet she caught her breath at what the thought implied. What must I do? she asked the Voice, desperately trying not to add, not to even think, I’ll do anything!

You must forget everything your parents taught you. You must abandon your husband, perhaps even your children. You have a Power inside you that is too great for one man to keep locked away, and you have a responsibility to wield it. Join me. Give yourself to me and I will give you the power to destroy the men who once ruined you—the men who soon will ruin your daughter, also. But in return, I expect you to continue fighting for me, to seek out and destroy any men—or women, either—who would traffic children for profit. I can give you this Power, Shade, but in return you must wield it for me. 

That night, Shade brought her daughter and son to her old village. When she returned, she murdered their father. For the next week, she worked her way through all of his friends, liberating their wives whether they (thought they) liked it or not, and then fought her way into the distance, not to rest until the evil she had always known but never heeded was wiped from the face of existence.