Do You Think He Knows?

SIEGFRIED: So… do you think he knows?

DWIGHT: Do I think who knows what?

SIEGFRIED: Kenny.

DWIGHT: More, please.

SIEGFRIED: Well, I mean… he’s gay, right?

DWIGHT: Is he?

SIEGFRIED: Are you serious? I mean, you’ve seen him, right? This is Kenny we’re talking about.

DWIGHT: Has he talked to you about this?

SIEGFRIED: Well, everyone’s talked about it.

DWIGHT: Has he, though?

SIEGFRIED: Look, he’s gonna deny it, OK?

DWIGHT: Because it would make him unpopular?

SIEGFRIED: Uh, yeah. This is the South.

DWIGHT: So.. what if he actually isn’t?

SIEGFRIED: What do you mean? If he’s not gay?

DWIGHT: If he’s not gay, should he say that he is?

SIEGFRIED: Why would he do that?

DWIGHT: Well, you seem to think if he is gay, he’ll say he isn’t, but what if he really isn’t? How would we know? How could we be sure?

SIEGFRIED: He is, though.

DWIGHT: How do you know? When they say that being gay is not a choice, that doesn’t mean that we all get together as a group to decide who’s gay and who isn’t.

SIEGFRIED: No, but I mean…

DWIGHT: What does it matter to you, anyway?

SIEGFRIED: It doesn’t.

DWIGHT: …

SIEGFRIED: I’m just saying, you know…

DWIGHT: And if he is gay, how would he “not know”?

SIEGFRIED: Well, you know, he could still be struggling. With himself. Trying to… decide?

DWIGHT: But you’ve already made the decision for him, so… Let me ask you this, what if he “decides” the other way? Is that something he can do?

SIEGFRIED: But why would he?

DWIGHT: You said yourself how unpopular he’d be if he “decided” to be gay.

SIEGFRIED: But he is gay!

DWIGHT: That’s not for you to decide! Look, there’s every chance in the world that you are right about Kenny, but whether or not he is, it’s not really any of our business, is it? Now if he is, and he tells us, that’s fine, but I, for one, am straight, so his orientation really doesn’t matter to me one way or the other.

SIEGFRIED: I’m just… concerned. ‘Cause, I mean… shouldn’t he know?

DWIGHT: I’m sure he does. And I hope one day he’ll consider us good enough friends to tell us. But until then, well…

SIEGFRIED: It’s none of our business. OK.