When You Do Ask a Girl Out

LAURA: Hey, honey. School good?

TONY: Awesome.

LAURA: You okay?

TONY: I’m fine.

LAURA: Are you sure?

TONY: Yes, I’m sure.

LAURA: Well, I’m not.

TONY: You’re not fine?

LAURA: Not sure.

TONY: What’s wrong?

LAURA: Not sure you’re fine. What’s up?

TONY: Oh my God, Mom.

LAURA: She have a name?

TONY: Oh my God!

LAURA: That’s a weird name for a girl. It is a girl? I’m assuming.

TONY: Jesus Christ!

LAURA: Now that would be a whole other story, if you’d changed your mind about that guy!

TONY: Yes, it’s a girl! Holy shit! Jeez, Mom!

LAURA: Language.

TONY: I don’t want to talk about it.

LAURA: Yeah, you do. She know you like her?

TONY: I don’t know.

LAURA: Could be worse. You friends?

TONY: I hope not.

LAURA: OK, now that is the wrong attitude to have.

TONY: Look, I don’t want to be that guy, you know, that guy that she goes to for friendship instead of…

LAURA: Instead of what?

TONY: You know…

LAURA: Look, I’m not going to pretend that there aren’t girls out there who like a bit of danger. But the best relationships, the kind of relationships like your dad and I had? We were friends first.

TONY: What if I don’t want what you and Dad had?

LAURA: Oh, are you gonna tell me that you’re only interested in this girl for her body?

TONY: I don’t know.

LAURA: I know that’s not what you want.

TONY: It’s just that.. we are friends.

LAURA: That’s good. It’s a good start.

TONY: So what if she doesn’t want to be more than that?

LAURA: Well, what if she doesn’t?

TONY: I don’t know what I’d…

LAURA: What you’d what? Are you good with being, with staying, just friends? If not—

TONY: I’m… No. I’m good with that.

LAURA: Are you sure?

TONY: I want her. But… I don’t know, OK?

LAURA: Have you talked to her about it?


LAURA: That might be a good place to start.

TONY: I know.

LAURA: So why don’t you do it?

TONY: Oh, for fuck sake, Mom—

LAURA: Language!

TONY: First you ambush me when I don’t want to talk about this stuff—

LAURA: You have to talk about this stuff.

TONY: I was figuring it out! Look, I don’t want you judging me, that’s why I didn’t come to you!

LAURA: How am I judging you?

TONY: I want to have sex! OK?

LAURA: You’re too young to be having sex…

TONY: See? That’s what I’m talking about!

LAURA: But I wasn’t—

TONY: I didn’t say I was planning to have sex any time soon—

LAURA: But that’s what you—You know what? Maybe you’re right, maybe I don’t want to—

TONY: Oh, no. Oh, no you don’t! You don’t get to open a can of worms like this and then not eat every single one! You wanted to do this? Let’s do this!

LAURA: So you want to have sex with this girl.

TONY: Yes.


TONY: Why… do I want to have sex?

LAURA: With her?

TONY: Because I want to have sex. And I like her.

LAURA: Do you like her because you want to have sex with her?

TONY: What did I just say, mother? I. Like. Her.


TONY: Again with the judging!

LAURA: I’m not judging you!

TONY: Oh, and again with the tone! You know what? Forget it, this was a bad idea—

LAURA: Tony! Wait. I’m sorry. Can we start over?

TONY: From where?

LAURA: There’s this girl that you like?

TONY: Yeah.

LAURA: What’s her name?

TONY: I’m not gonna tell you her name. Not yet.

LAURA: Have you asked her out?

TONY: Not yet. But I think I’m going to.

LAURA: Good.

TONY: Mom?

LAURA: Yeah?

TONY: Do you have any… tips? On how to ask a girl out? Or even, like, where to take her on a date?

LAURA: Oh, honey. Do I ever!

About Polypsyches

I write, regardless of medium or genre, but mostly I manage a complex combined Science-Fiction/Fantasy Universe--in other words, I'm building Geek Heaven. With some other stuff on the side. View all posts by Polypsyches

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