LAURA: Hey, honey. School good?
TONY: Awesome.
LAURA: You okay?
TONY: I’m fine.
LAURA: Are you sure?
TONY: Yes, I’m sure.
LAURA: Well, I’m not.
TONY: You’re not fine?
LAURA: Not sure.
TONY: What’s wrong?
LAURA: Not sure you’re fine. What’s up?
TONY: Oh my God, Mom.
LAURA: She have a name?
TONY: Oh my God!
LAURA: That’s a weird name for a girl. It is a girl? I’m assuming.
TONY: Jesus Christ!
LAURA: Now that would be a whole other story, if you’d changed your mind about that guy!
TONY: Yes, it’s a girl! Holy shit! Jeez, Mom!
LAURA: Language.
TONY: I don’t want to talk about it.
LAURA: Yeah, you do. She know you like her?
TONY: I don’t know.
LAURA: Could be worse. You friends?
TONY: I hope not.
LAURA: OK, now that is the wrong attitude to have.
TONY: Look, I don’t want to be that guy, you know, that guy that she goes to for friendship instead of…
LAURA: Instead of what?
TONY: You know…
LAURA: Look, I’m not going to pretend that there aren’t girls out there who like a bit of danger. But the best relationships, the kind of relationships like your dad and I had? We were friends first.
TONY: What if I don’t want what you and Dad had?
LAURA: Oh, are you gonna tell me that you’re only interested in this girl for her body?
TONY: I don’t know.
LAURA: I know that’s not what you want.
TONY: It’s just that.. we are friends.
LAURA: That’s good. It’s a good start.
TONY: So what if she doesn’t want to be more than that?
LAURA: Well, what if she doesn’t?
TONY: I don’t know what I’d…
LAURA: What you’d what? Are you good with being, with staying, just friends? If not—
TONY: I’m… No. I’m good with that.
LAURA: Are you sure?
TONY: I want her. But… I don’t know, OK?
LAURA: Have you talked to her about it?
TONY: No…
LAURA: That might be a good place to start.
TONY: I know.
LAURA: So why don’t you do it?
TONY: Oh, for fuck sake, Mom—
LAURA: Language!
TONY: First you ambush me when I don’t want to talk about this stuff—
LAURA: You have to talk about this stuff.
TONY: I was figuring it out! Look, I don’t want you judging me, that’s why I didn’t come to you!
LAURA: How am I judging you?
TONY: I want to have sex! OK?
LAURA: You’re too young to be having sex…
TONY: See? That’s what I’m talking about!
LAURA: But I wasn’t—
TONY: I didn’t say I was planning to have sex any time soon—
LAURA: But that’s what you—You know what? Maybe you’re right, maybe I don’t want to—
TONY: Oh, no. Oh, no you don’t! You don’t get to open a can of worms like this and then not eat every single one! You wanted to do this? Let’s do this!
LAURA: So you want to have sex with this girl.
TONY: Yes.
LAURA: Why?
TONY: Why… do I want to have sex?
LAURA: With her?
TONY: Because I want to have sex. And I like her.
LAURA: Do you like her because you want to have sex with her?
TONY: What did I just say, mother? I. Like. Her.
LAURA: OK.
TONY: Again with the judging!
LAURA: I’m not judging you!
TONY: Oh, and again with the tone! You know what? Forget it, this was a bad idea—
LAURA: Tony! Wait. I’m sorry. Can we start over?
TONY: From where?
LAURA: There’s this girl that you like?
TONY: Yeah.
LAURA: What’s her name?
TONY: I’m not gonna tell you her name. Not yet.
LAURA: Have you asked her out?
TONY: Not yet. But I think I’m going to.
LAURA: Good.
TONY: Mom?
LAURA: Yeah?
TONY: Do you have any… tips? On how to ask a girl out? Or even, like, where to take her on a date?
LAURA: Oh, honey. Do I ever!
Polypsyches 
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