LYDIA: Do you know how to use that?
DARRYL: What, this?
LYDIA: It’s a fine weapon you have there.
DARRYL: Are you supposed to be holding that one? Isn’t that somebody’s prop?
LYDIA: I’m the prop-master. Well, assistant prop-master. Well, I was. On a different show. I know what I’m doing.
DARRYL: Well, OK. I guess that excuses your holding it—although I’m not convinced. But should you really be waving it around like that?
LYDIA: I’m not just “waving it around”. I’m testing the weight.
DARRYL: Is that even a thing?
LYDIA: Of course it’s a thing. You’ve got to know how it’s weighted if you’re going to be waving it around.
DARRYL: I thought you just said—
LYDIA: I know what I just said! I’m testing the weight.
DARRYL: Got it.
LYDIA: How’s yours?
DARRYL: I don’t know. I haven’t tested it.
LYDIA: I don’t believe you.
DARRYL: It’s fine.
LYDIA: Is it?
DARRYL: Why exactly are you testing the weight?
LYDIA: To fight you.
DARRYL: Oh. Of course. How silly of me.
LYDIA: Don’t you want to fight me?
DARRYL: I mean…
LYDIA: What? Is it because I’m a girl?
DARRYL: I think it’s more because I’m an actor and I’m trying to be conscious and aware of the fact that this is my prop, and I haven’t been trained in how not to hurt people when I’m using it.
LYDIA: So it is because I’m a girl. You assume you’ll be the one hurting me if anything goes wrong?
DARRYL: Yeah, OK, there might be a little bit of ohmychristshesgonnakickmyass going on here.
LYDIA: Hm. Honesty. From a male. How refreshing.
DARRYL: I do try.
LYDIA: Well, you’ll have to try harder, soon. Defend yourself!
DARRYL: You’re Lydia, right?
LYDIA: I am.
DARRYL: Kelly was so disappointed you were coming back. She’s been enjoying understudying for you.
LYDIA: Kelly isn’t as good of an actress as I am.
DARRYL: Well, she’s certainly not near as assertive. Well done.
LYDIA: Thank you.
DARRYL: We still shouldn’t be doing this.
LYDIA: Why ever not?
DARRYL: It’s not appropriate.
LYDIA: Oh, pish.
LYDIA: Pish and piffle.
DARRYL: That doesn’t sound very nice.
LYDIA: People overestimate how nice I am.
LYDIA: You’re Darryl, aren’t you?
DARRYL: I am.
LYDIA: Benvolio, isn’t it?
DARRYL: Whenever I can.
LYDIA: How on Earth don’t you have any fight scenes?
DARRYL: I mean, I draw my sword, but… I don’t know. They cut them out. Benvolio is supposed to be like the peacekeeper. It’s a Latin thing.
LYDIA: A Latin thing?
DARRYL: The name. “Benvolio”. “Ben” means “good” and the “volio” has to do with like wanting, like “benevolent”? Same root.
LYDIA: Huh. So you’re a pretty smart guy?
DARRYL: I mean… I’m in college.
LYDIA: I’m in high school.
DARRYL: So I gathered.
LYDIA: Are you a Freshman?
DARRYL: Rising Junior.
LYDIA: So am I. I mean, I’m old for a sophomore, ‘cause of circumstances, but…
DARRYL: You liking it?
LYDIA: School? No. Hell, no.
DARRYL: Going to college?
LYDIA: M-m. No.
DARRYL: ‘Cause you don’t like school?
LYDIA: That, and it’s expensive.
DARRYL: That is true.
LYDIA: I figure the people who should be going to college are the people who actually want to go to college. I’m not gonna be a doctor or a teacher or anything like that, so… It’s kinda wasted on me.
DARRYL: There are other reasons to go to college.
LYDIA: Like what?
LYDIA: Learning what?
LYDIA: If I really want to learn anything, I can hang out at the library, read it for myself. Not to mention, there’s the Internet?
DARRYL: There’s something about… college, though.
LYDIA: What is it?
DARRYL: I don’t know. Maybe you have to be into it. Hey, I thought we were done fighting.
LYDIA: Now we have something to fight about!
DARRYL: Oh, yeah? What are we fighting about?
LYDIA: Truth! Knowledge! Justice! I say that true knowledge isn’t found in books, it’s found in the human heart!
DARRYL: Well, then let’s cut out your heart and find out!
LYDIA: Oh, ew!
DARRYL: Was that too much? Hey!
LYDIA: Ha-ha! A hit! A very powerful hit!
DARRYL: Palpable hit.
LYDIA: Palatable hit!
DARRYL: That, too.
LYDIA: Are you getting distracted? Ow!
DARRYL: Oh, shit! Are you okay? Ow!
LYDIA: Ha-ha! I got you again!
DARRYL: No, seriously, though, are you all right? It looked like I got you in the eye.
LYDIA: I’ll survive!
DARRYL: I think we should stop now.
DARRYL: I’d rather be branded a coward than actually skewer you.
LYDIA: I could skewer you first!
DARRYL: Lydia. Let me see. Oh, shit, that’s an actual scratch.
LYDIA: I’m okay. It didn’t actually break the skin.
DARRYL: You’ll be okay.
LYDIA: Do you have a crush on Sophia James?
DARRYL: Say what?
LYDIA: Do you?
DARRYL: Is it that obvious, or did Michelle blab?
LYDIA: I could blame it on Michelle, sure. I don’t know if it’s obvious, but… I noticed.
DARRYL: Does she know?
LYDIA: Do you want her to know?
DARRYL: Do you think it would do me any good?
LYDIA: I could find out for you, if you want.
LYDIA: You look like you’d be cute together. Do you think it’ll get infected?
DARRYL: I actually can’t even see it anymore.
LYDIA: Good. Until we meet again, villain!
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