Crystal Clear

CRYSTAL: Hey.

JORDAN: Hi.

CRYSTAL: Um.

JORDAN: Sup?

CRYSTAL: Whatcha doin’ here?

JORDAN: Oh, I just, you know, thought I’d come out and see you.

CRYSTAL: Don’t you live like an hour and a half away?

JORDAN: So? Got nothing better to do. What’s going on? We talked about uh. Maybe going to see a movie? You said you might be…

CRYSTAL: That’s when I thought you were gonna be out here anyway. You had that job?

JORDAN: Yeah, sorry I wasn’t able to get away.

CRYSTAL: Yeah, I was, too, but like…

JORDAN: What? You don’t wanna hang out?

CRYSTAL: What’s going on here?

JORDAN: You said you wanted to hang out.

CRYSTAL: Yeah, but like, an hour and a hal drive both ways? That’s not hanging out, Jordan, that’s—

JORDAN: I have been known to drive three times that far just to watch a play. I mean, it’s what I do, it gives me time to listen to audiobooks. What’s wrong?

CRYSTAL: What do you want from me?

JORDAN: To hang out? Like we said?

CRYSTAL: And that’s it?

JORDAN: That’s what we said.

CRYSTAL: You’re not after more?

JORDAN: More? What, like…

CRYSTAL: Like you’re not trying to turn this into a date?

JORDAN: Ew. No.

CRYSTAL: I’m sorry—ew?

JORDAN: No, it’s just—I mean, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just that’s not how I think about you.

CRYSTAL: Seriously?

JORDAN: Oh, what, you think you’re all that?

CRYSTAL: It’s just that, in my experience, when a guy goes to that much effort, it means that he’s after a little something more.

JORDAN: Well, I’m not.

CRYSTAL: Well, I don’t believe you.

JORDAN: Well then.

CRYSTAL: Do you seriously not see me that way?

JORDAN: You were the one who said we should hang out!

CRYSTAL: That was before you drove an hour and a half just to see me, I mean what’s up with that?

JORDAN: I don’t have a lot of friends! OK? That’s what’s with that, is I’m kinda pathetic. It’s not about sex or romance, it’s about I thought we had fun hanging out.

CRYSTAL: I still don’t believe you.

JORDAN: What do you want me to say?

CRYSTAL: Right now, I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to leave.

JORDAN: All right.

CRYSTAL: No, hold on.

JORDAN: Yes?

CRYSTAL: Why not?

JORDAN: Why not what?

CRYSTAL: Why don’t you find me attractive?

JORDAN: Oh, so you do want to hear that now?

CRYSTAL: I just wanna hear what you’ll say.

JORDAN: I never said I didn’t find you attractive. I’m just not attracted to you. You are attractive. Objectively. You’re gorgeous, definitely out of my league—

CRYSTAL: So you figure you don’t have a shot anyway.

JORDAN: Oh, don’t flatter yourself, honey. That’s my job. No, I just, hanging out is great, but I don’t, I just don’t think we’d work out long-term.

CRYSTAL: Why not?

JORDAN: You want the truth? Because you’re a skinny blonde who doesn’t like Star Trek.

CRYSTAL: Lots of girls don’t like Star Trek. In fact, I think most girls don’t actually like Star Trek.

JORDAN: All the women in my family love it. Most of my female friends have loved it. I’d even go so far as to say it is sexist to assume that a woman is not a Trekkie. So why would I settle for that?

CRYSTAL: But you like me anyway?

JORDAN: As a friend. Like I say, I don’t have many friends.

CRYSTAL: Yeah, I can see why.

JORDAN: Yeah. Yeah, so can I.

CRYSTAL: Seriously, though, how is “skinny blonde” a bad thing?

JORDAN: Look, you’re just not my type, OK?