Leagues Away

BLAIR: So are you going to homecoming?

HANNAH: I don’t know yet.

BLAIR: No one’s asked you?

HANNAH: I don’t know if I even want them to. It’s lame, right?

BLAIR: It’s not so bad if you got someone to go with. And I guess even if you don’t… I don’t know. Lots of folks’ll be there, right?

HANNAH: But you’re taking Rose, right?

BLAIR: Yeah.

HANNAH: How’s that going?

BLAIR: Good. Why? How else would it be going?

HANNAH: You mean other than the fact that she’s not the one you wanted?

BLAIR: She’s the one I’m with, though. Look—Sandy, she was never an option.

HANNAH: Did you even try? Did you even go there?

BLAIR: What the fuck makes you think I didn’t go there?

HANNAH: I just… don’t understand why…

BLAIR: What?

HANNAH: Why any girl in her right mind would not want to date you. You’re still friends with her, right? Sandy?

BLAIR: Yeah.

HANNAH: Is she, like, a lesbian?

BLAIR: No.

HANNAH: Are you sure?

BLAIR: It’s like she’s… I don’t know, sometimes it’s just… it’s like she’s just above it all. You know?

HANNAH: Above what?

BLAIR: All of it. Relationships, sex. It’s like she’s been there and…

HANNAH: Did you ever make a move?

BLAIR: I wouldn’t even know how. And you know, the more I think about it…

HANNAH: What?

BLAIR: I’m not even sure that I really… want… her. Sandy.

HANNAH: You have been pining over her all year, so, like–

BLAIR: I have not–

HANNAH: Uh, yeah, actually, you have.

BLAIR: It’s just, do you ever… I mean, I don’t know, ‘cause you’re a girl–

HANNAH: Oh, really? I’m a girl?

BLAIR: I mean, you know what I mean–

HANNAH: No, I don’t think I do. Enlighten me.

BLAIR: Guys have… you know… fantasies.

HANNAH: About sex?

BLAIR: Yeah.

HANNAH: Hold on, do you seriously think that I don’t fantasize about sex?

BLAIR: … Well…

HANNAH: Oh, honey.

BLAIR: I mean, okay, yeah, I guess there is that–

HANNAH: Is this going somewhere?

BLAIR: When I fantasize… I mean, I’ve tried, but… I just can’t seem to fantasize about her. She’s all… it’s like she’s…

HANNAH: Out of your league?

BLAIR: It’s like she’s on a whole other planet. Like she’s a different species that isn’t even compatible.

HANNAH: I know what that feels like…

BLAIR: But anyway, there’s Rose.

HANNAH: Right.

BLAIR: So you want me to help find you a date? For homecoming?

HANNAH: No.

BLAIR: You sure?
HANNAH: No.

BLAIR: Think I could get Alex to—

HANNAH: Ew. No. Thanks, though.

BLAIR: Anyway, thanks for the talk.

HANNAH: You’re welcome. For the talk. Hey, Blair?

BLAIR: Hm?

HANNAH: Tell Rose I said hi, OK?

BLAIR: OK.

HANNAH: OK.