Faceless Perceptions

CHAD CHETWIN: Hey, there.

LILY LASSITER: Oh, shit, really?

CHAD: Um… I’m sorry?

LILY: No, I’m sorry, it’s just… All right, fine, let’s hear it.

CHAD: Hear… what?

LILY: The line. Come on, give me the line, what is it?

CHAD: What… line? You mean a pick-up line?

LILY: Yeah! What, you don’t have one?

CHAD: I… no–

LILY: What kind of guy comes to a bar and doesn’t have a pick-up line ready?

CHAD: I don’t know, they usually just… happen.

LILY: Well, you’re an attractive enough guy, you probably don’t even really need one, you probably got women falling all over you all the time.

CHAD: Well, I mean… I don’t know, I like to think it’s more ‘cause I’m… you know, I’m a sensitive guy.

LILY: A sensitive guy? A sensitive guy? Oh, wow! Oh my God, that’s adorable.

CHAD: What? I am!

LILY: Is that why you came over here? Is it? Is it because you’re a sensitive guy?

CHAD: Well… yeah, I mean, why not?

LILY: Is it because you sensed that I was in some kind of distress and needed your company and while you’re at it, maybe even your cock?

CHAD: … Do you?

LILY: You are just too freaking much.

CHAD: What? You looked lonely.

LILY: You didn’t come over here because I looked lonely.

CHAD: Well, then why did I come over here?

LILY: You tell me.

CHAD: Can I buy you a drink?

LILY: Nope. Not until you tell me why you came over here. Why me? What can you tell about me just by looking at me? From across the room, what can you tell about me?

CHAD: What do you want from me?

LILY: Answer the question.

CHAD: You’re in a bar. A singles bar. You’re at the bar. And you’re wearing that.

LILY: Oh, so it’s what I’m wearing, now?

CHAD: What do you want from me?

LILY: What do you want from me?

CHAD: No, I answered your question, things I can tell just by looking at you from across the room–

LILY: That wasn’t an answer, and it’s not what I asked–

CHAD: Wasn’t an answer? Jesus!

LILY: No, you weren’t being honest with me.

CHAD: Oh, I wasn’t bein–so now you know me better than I know me? OK, answer me this. What kind of person comes to a singles bar just to be a bitch to guys trying to be nice to her?

LILY: You see that girl over there? She’s been sitting here longer than I have, you’re the third guy who’s come up to me, care to guess how many drinks she’s gotten? See how her eyes keep going around the room–no, don’t stare, that’s rude. See how she’s looking around, though? I’m here waiting for my publicist, who wants to meet me at a bar because guess what, she’s not the kind of girl guys go after either. Now she’s late, and I have to deal with assholes who think that just because I’m pretty means I need their attention. Have a nice life, asshole.