Freedom from Religion

JEAN-YVES: Adèle! Adèèèèle! Où es-tu?

ADÈLE: Qu’est-ce qu’il y a?

JEAN-YVES: Come down. Please? Please come down and talk to me.

ADÈLE: I can’t right now.

JEAN-YVES: Adèle, I swear to you—

ADÈLE: Mais putain! All right! Connard, va! What? All right, come on, spit it out.

JEAN-YVES: You can’t be with him.

ADÈLE: You’re gonna tell me what I can and can’t do?

JEAN-YVES: Yes!

ADÈLE: Oh, well, then, you’re the boss, I guess. Guess I’ll just swing by your place and walk around naked all day, cooking you snacks?

JEAN-YVES: This is not funny.

ADÈLE: Am I laughing?

JEAN-YVES: He is…

ADÈLE: What? Muslim?

JEAN-YVES: Adèle, he doesn’t think of you as a person.

ADÈLE: He’s not l’espèce d’islamophobe misogyn standing on my doorstep telling me who I can and can’t date. Va te faire foutre, Jean-Yves.

JEAN-YVES: He doesn’t love you.

ADÈLE: And you do? Look at you. I must be the luckiest bitch in the world, to have you here to save from the big, bad muslim who’s gonna stand up to his own parents, who do not want him dating a non-muslim.

JEAN-YVES: And you think that’ll work out? You think you’re gonna stay non-muslim? You think he’s gonna put up with that forever? Oh, or do you think you’re going to change him, make him abandon his faith, stop practicing—

ADÈLE: I don’t need him to abandon his faith! I like his faith! His faith gives him morality—what have you got?

JEAN-YVES: You want to talk about morality? I don’t attack people just for believing in a different God!

ADÈLE: No, just for believing in a God at all.

JEAN-YVES: What, so now you’re suddenly religious?

ADÈLE: I’m not a bigot.

JEAN-YVES: But your boyfriend is.

ADÈLE: This, coming from you?

JEAN-YVES: What if there were more of them? Huh? What if there were more of them than us? You don’t think they’d be the ones persecuting?

ADÈLE: You really need to read up on this shit: Muslims aren’t allowed to persecute—

JEAN-YVES: Jews of Christians or Sabians, yeah, sure, that’s what they keep telling us, but look around—

ADÈLE: I am looking around, and I’m seeing Jews and Christians attacking Muslims, after which I’m seeing Muslims getting fed up and fighting back. They didn’t start this cycle of violence—

JEAN-YVES: But what if I’m not Jewish? Or Christian? Or whatever the fuck a Sabian is? What if I’m an Atheist? Their religion explicitly tells them to kill me—

ADÈLE: Where the fuck are you—Look it up! It says “anyone who kills another human being, it is as though he has killed all mankind”—

JEAN-YVES: And if you’d actually read that verse, you would know that you’re leaving something out, it says “if you kill someone except for murder or for spreading corruption”—so then you look at other places in the text, where it uses that word, “spreading corruption”, you know where they use that? Any time they are talking about people speaking out against Islam. That verse is blanket permission for Muslims to kill all the infidels who dare to defy them.

ADÈLE: Like Muslims are the only ones who do that!

JEAN-YVES: Atheists don’t!

ADÈLE: You’re telling me no atheist in the history of the world has ever killed someone for being religious?

JEAN-YVES: Name one!

ADÈLE: Josef Stalin!

JEAN-YVES: Putain de merde, va ! Josef Stalin was a dictator!

ADÈLE: And an atheist!

JEAN-YVES: C’est pas le même chôse !

ADÈLE: Ah, non? And how’s that? Bin Laden was a terrorist, but now suddenly all Muslims are terrorists, alors?

JEAN-YVES: You’re not going to be happy with him.

ADÈLE: Well, I’m definitely not going to be happy with you, donc…

JEAN-YVES: This is not about that.

ADÈLE: Isn’t it, though? If I were hooking up with a white guy, would you accept that? Or would you be jealous?

JEAN-YVES: Jealous? Sure.

ADÈLE: Alors, quoi ?

JEAN-YVES: I’m not jealous for you, Adèle. I’m afraid for you.

ADÈLE: Then I’m telling you it’s none of your business.