Monthly Archives: June 2017

The Black Cat

Patricia de Lyon had always wanted a cat, but her parents wouldn’t let her because her father was “allergic”. Supposedly. She didn’t believe that for a minute, though; her parents were just lazy and didn’t want the burden of the feeding and the cleaning—yet for all Patricia’s imprecations and assurances that she would take care of all that, she could not seduce them.

“A girl your age doesn’t need pets,” her mother lectured, “you need friends! Real friends!”

This was hardly fair, Patricia thought. She had friends: kids at school she smiled at and talked to and had lunch with, now and then.

“Who knows?” her mother added, “Maybe even a boyfriend?”

This did bother Patricia, actually. A boyfriend, she would have liked very much. But what were her options? At her school? Scant. Everybody did drugs. Everybody smoked like a chimney. She didn’t want to kiss that. Not that anyone really liked her much, anyway, partly because she didn’t smoke. But she did want… something. So instead, she spent most of her nights quietly up in her room reading fantasies about handsome princelings taking hapless young girls along on adventures.

One day, though, while she was walking home from the bus stop, a black kitten tumbled out of the bushes in front of her, landing in her way. She knew the old superstition, of course, about black cats crossing your path, but assumed that was just because it can be especially hard to see them in the dark, and it was light out, so… And besides, she soon noticed a small brown patch on her belly, so she wasn’t completely black.

The little black cat looked up at her like she really, honestly didn’t know who it was who had eat the canary, and then she let out the tiniest, solemnest little squeak of a miauw.

Patricia didn’t hesitate. I shall name her Eleven, she decided, because she is not quite as black as midnight. She was taking for granted that her parents would not begrudge her a pet found on the street and taken in.

“Absolutely not,” her mother disappointed her. “What did I say? Your father is allergic! We will not have it in this house!”

“But mama—“

“Patricia! Not another word! Now put it back outside before it gets in its animal head we have food around here.”

Reluctantly, Patricia put the little kitten outside in the yard to fend for herself. There are outdoor cats, too, she consoled herself.

But it was no good.

That night, while she lay reading, there was a scratching at her window and an ever-so-soft miauw from outside.

Eleven! thought Patricia. She let the kitten in and kissed and cuddled her to within an inch of her life. When she made another soft miauw, she shushed her hastily before quietly stealing downstairs for some morsels of leftover chicken.

Miauw,” Eleven kept telling her over the course of weeks and months, growing every day that Patricia kept her hidden, letting her live outside and only bringing her in for cuddles and absconded food.

Except “she” wasn’t the right word, as Patricia discovered one day while rubbing the tomcat’s belly low enough to be sure. She’d never felt one before and always assumed that her first time touching one would be human, but what was wrong with this? She danced back when she felt it, but saw the look in Eleven’s eyes turn from her initial shock to a smoky-eyed smoldering.

Eleven was everything to her. Which was why it was so devastating, six months later, when her mother found out.

“What did I tell you?” her mother shouted, angrier than Patricia had seen her since she’d gone to the deep end of the swimming pool at age six and almost drowned. “No wonder you’ve been so sick!”

This took Patricia by surprise. She hadn’t been sick! Well, she had, of course, she’d had the sniffles, but that wasn’t Eleven’s fault!

“Your father is allergic,” her mother spelled it out or her, “And it’s looking like you are, too!”

The battle for her right to nurture at the expense of her own health was a foregone conclusion, but she fought it still, all the way to the shelter, and then refusing to speak to her mother all the way back home, where she cried herself to sleep.

That night, though, she once more heard the familiar “Miauw?”

Eleven! she shouted inside, and nothing else mattered again, not the allergic reaction she was going to have, not her lack of social life, not the financial burden, not the reaction her father—Hatsjoe!—would continue to have with the cat being around the house, and not her parents’ opinions. Let her peers have their drugs and her parents their health, all Patricia ever needed was this black cat who loved her.


Subjunctivitis

I’ve talked about Subjunctive Scenes before, but I’d like to say a few words now about the things that they can do to a person.

A Subjunctive Scene is, by definition, a scene that isn’t “really” happening, a scene that doesn’t take place in a story, but would or could or should or might, if circumstances were different. The contention seems to be that these scenes are to be avoided, but that is only because they are dangerous scenes.

They are to be treated as dangerous because they can result in infection and even inflammation, under certain circumstances. This inflammation can present itself in one of two opposing forms:

Type 1 Subjunctivitis occurs when the audience ignores the impact of the scene completely, claiming that it didn’t matter at all to the narrative because it “didn’t really happen”. This can present as a side-effect among small numbers of the intended audience, in which case it is possible it’s due to a personal misreading of the text as these audience members may be subject to market forces that are statistically negligible, but if too much of the audience sustains this reaction, the efficacy of the device in this instance should be questioned.

Type 2 Subjunctivitis, however, occurs when the audience or readership does not realize that the subjunctive event was fictional, or occurred outside of the agreed-upon diegesis. This can be a risky effect to present—if done well, it can keep the audience engaged and on their toes through the use of “twists” in the tale. But if left unchecked, it can mire readership in a miasma of semantic discontinuity, uncertain of the reality of any of the presented elements.

In some extreme cases, this uncertainty has been known to translate to the actual world of the audience, whereupon they can then no longer even be certain of that.


“Paint It Black”

All right, I lied. I said I was fine, after my dad left. Or at least I implied that I’d had a healthy reaction, and compared to my brother and sister, I guess that’s probably true, but that’s not the whole story and I’d be lying if I let you think it was. I was devastated—of course I was, what girl wouldn’t be, once her dad left? Not just left her mother but her? Of course I was. It just took me a while to realize because of how my brain had been rewiring itself. And when it did come, it came in a form that took me a while to associate with my father, or with grief, even though it shouldn’t have.

Of course it was a guy.

It’s not like you think, though—well, no, it was, just not… yet. Not like that. It was later, seventh grade, middle of middle school. I’d been having visions for a while about the man I was going to marry—I mean, not marry, maybe, I don’t know. I haven’t seen that part. But in some of them, it feels like I’m married to him. I guess. The only trouble is, I never see his face. I mean, that’s not the only trouble, of course—there’s also the fact that I’m having goddamn premonitions in the first place, and not all of them are rice and tinsel.

I couldn’t see his face, though, and that was a problem—although I could see his hair.

“What’s wrong with gingers?” Kayla couldn’t help but ask, being a redhead herself.

“Well, nothing, if you’re a girl,” I assured her. “But on guys, it’s just, I don’t know…” I was prejudiced. I’ll admit it. Even at the time, I knew it was wrong, and even at the time I knew there’d be a time when I’d know it was wrong, I just wasn’t there yet, it just seemed weird.

It seemed even weirder, though, when I actually met the guy. He flew under my radar for a while—I had a tendency (I’m sure you’ll understand) to instantly notice any guy in my general vicinity who had that particular hair color, but Angus George must’ve felt the same way about read-headed males I did, because his hair was jet-black when I met him, giving that much more levity to his freckled skin, whcih I guess should’ve been a dead giveaway, too. It wasn’t till I’d known him a couple of weeks, talked to him, wondered if his low-key aggression was his awkward-goth way of flirting with me, that I noticed his scalp bleeding. Not that it really was, but his roots were coming in and their shade of red was terrifying. Especially to me.

“Are you a ginger?” I blurted out, out of the blue.

“No!” he said, defensive even though I soon discovred he’d never heard the term—how could he never have heard it before, if he was one? Instantly, of course, my attitide softened toward him. I started talking to him, started to convince myself that yes, he was the one for me, not just any ginger, but my ginger, the clove I would grind up to add spice to the recipe of my existence as I saw it. Never mind that he was so damaged, never mind he identified as a thug, he would be my thug, the Angus of my angst and I would shape him into something better.

“He’s not the one for you,” Kayla kept telling me, though. She was my best friend, still, and I trusted her judgment, but only to a point. Only with my head, my gut—my chest and especially like my midriff liked this guy so much, thought I did anyway, knew what to do with him—

“He’s not the one for you, though.”

I knew she was right. He wasn’t Mr. Right, but he was Mr. Right-on-top-of-me—not literally, you perv. I was like twelve, maybe fourteen by the end of it, and still convinced I was not my sister. He was right there, target practice, even after Kayla wasn’t.

I don’t know if my father leaving had anything to do with my stuff with Angus, but it sure feels better having someone else to blame, and why shouldn’t I? Especially when that someone else is my piece of shit father who skipped out right when I was hitting puberty and needing him most to show me what an idiot looks like.